Im a 16 year old male and I have social anxiety (Please read all, much appericated)?
Hello im 16 and I have social anxiety and just anxiety which makes it difficult to hold a converstation. Before I start this is a little about myself;
I like sports the outdoors, camping, backpacking, skateboarding. I like rock, hip hop and that kinda music etc.. But I bad social anxiety and I DON’T want to take any type of medications to help with it. I’ve already tried smoking mariquana to help my social anxiety a few times and then realized it’s not a good idea to rely on medicines. I’ve been approached by girls quite a bit but I can’t seem to hold a converstation well because I always have a hard time thinking of what to say. For example I think that I might be random if I just open a whole new topic.. etc.. Im probably too hard on myself but this girl liked me awhile and I lost that chance because we never really talked and im sure she thought it was to be rude which it wasn’t. I also always think what if i say something random, which gives me more anxiety I would say maybe not. I just wish I could keep converstations going and maybe meet some new people. That’s the main problem, keeping converstations without arkward silence if you’ve ever been in that situation it happens and it’s not very fun haha. Im wandering if any of you have gone through this and found another method to make it go away completely besides taking a medicine. Thank you so much = ). Much appericated.
If you want to keep conversations going just ask questions that start with how, where when, why, what, who, etc. Just start talking about things girls are interested in such as clothes, music, fashion, movies, and hobbies. Ask girls what hobbies they like. Then say… I like …. too! Just forget about yourself and concentrate on the person you are talking to. Give girls compliments on their hairstyles, clothes, shoes. Say, I like your haircut. That’s a nice……. Just keep on giving her compliments and take an interest in what she is saying and she will know that you like her. Maybe ask her if she can suggest a good movie you could go and see and when she suggests one say why don’t we both go together. Or when talking about hobbies, say that you like that music too, and invite her to your place to listen to music.
Here is a good website that will be of help to you with social anxiety:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com
April 24th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
I deal with anxiety on a daily basis, and I am 16 too. your situation is different than mine because I got my anxiety from smoking marujuana. but i was in my house for months at a time, questioning everything. i couldnt step outside without holding my moms hand because i was so absolutely terrified of a panic attack that i couldnt handle. i had missed months of school at a time, resulting in making it up later. it turns out, i could handle it. this was almost 2 years ago and today I am happy and successful in school and very ambitious and hopeful. i get severe panic attacks only a few times a year, and i used to think that i would never be able to enjoy sunlight again. i am now an appriciative happy person and it feels amazing. it will feel amazing for you because what you must do is love yourself. you have to hold on to yourself and coach yourself through this. i felt the same way about medicine. therapy is an amazing help but if you are not for that, you can just use these tecniques to get through it.
1. self-talk
2. coach yourself
3. tell yourself its time for a change
4. never lose hope.
i told you my story because even when it seems helpless, theres alot more to the situation & God’s plan. good luck, and you can contact me anytime if you need moral support. i support you!
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April 24th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
I have trouble socializing too, but it’s not because of anxiety. It’s because I have Asperger’s Syndrome. Asperger’s is an Autism Spectrum Disorder which causes people, to have difficulty socializing amongst other things. People with Asperger’s aren’t anti-social, they often want to participate in what others are doing, but they seem to have been born without the ability to tell what most people are thinking/feeling so it makes carrying on a conversation quite difficult. I now see a Psychologist and he’s helped be develop coping skills which makes socialization easier. long story short: if you don’t want medication I suggest Psycho Therapy.
References :
April 24th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
If you want to keep conversations going just ask questions that start with how, where when, why, what, who, etc. Just start talking about things girls are interested in such as clothes, music, fashion, movies, and hobbies. Ask girls what hobbies they like. Then say… I like …. too! Just forget about yourself and concentrate on the person you are talking to. Give girls compliments on their hairstyles, clothes, shoes. Say, I like your haircut. That’s a nice……. Just keep on giving her compliments and take an interest in what she is saying and she will know that you like her. Maybe ask her if she can suggest a good movie you could go and see and when she suggests one say why don’t we both go together. Or when talking about hobbies, say that you like that music too, and invite her to your place to listen to music.
Here is a good website that will be of help to you with social anxiety:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com
References :